Gophers . . . Part I

The Invasion

Gophers have been digging in our yard at night. Either that or we have aliens digging strange holes with mounded up dirt. I'm voting for gophers, considering the dog goes potty there and then tips her head from side to side, listening to the scurrying underground.

I'm not bothered by this as much as the husband. I have been to the back of our property (sounds spacious, doesn't it?) and I've seen those hundreds of gopher holes spout water in the rainy season. It's Gopher Metropolis back there on our hill. Apparently the gopher that has moved into our beautiful backyard has decided to try for more roomy living quarters or he's been evicted for bad manners.

One thing I know is true. Evict Mr. Gopher from our yard and another one will move into his vacated home, maybe bring his wife and kids and Uncle Fred. No, my opinion is to just flood the holes once in a while. Pat his mounds down flat and kind of make it annoying for him. Then he'll move into the neighbor's yard. Sorry, neighbors. Word has it the hill dwelling gophers won't take him back for some undisclosed offense so we're kind of stuck with him.

Not with David, my darling husband. No. He can't stand looking out at our less than perfect lawn and seeing mounds of dirt. So he's been digging up the mounds, turning the 6 inches or so of mounded up soil into 2 or 3 FEET of dirt expanse. Grass completely gone, rocks from deep underground mixed into the lawn, making mowing the lawn a holey disaster if the mower hits a rock.

And then he floods the hole. The gopher is probably laughing from one of his many exit holes and David, sweat dripping from his nose, continues to plot his demise. The next plan involves road flares down the holes. Oh my. I feel sorry for the gopher who will just move to the north side of the lawn and build a new mansion underground. It's like the movie, Caddy Shack.

What is it about these little varmints that make men go nuts to get rid of them? I noticed even the dog doesn't care, she watches from the shade. Stay tuned as the saga of the Gophers Invade Our Yard continues.